In our ongoing effort to bring you some of the most amazing words hidden in the English language, we’re happy to bring you the following 10 words you probably didn’t know. This week, the words have taken on a bit of an odd turn, which should mean they’ll be a lot more fun to build into every day language.
- to pretend to work when in reality one is not doing anything.
Example: John was called into the human resources office to discuss his apparent fudgeling.
I love this word because it’s something we’ve all been guilty of doing at one point in time and, well, let’s be honest, you’re probably doing it right now (I see you reading this rather than working you rebel!). Also, it’s such a better word than slacking or neglecting.
- to make a squelching sound, especially due to water-logged footwear while walking.
Example: He tried to be quiet as he snuck into the house, but his position was given away when his wet shoes chorked against the hardwood floors.
This is another great example of a word you probably didn’t know that defined something we’ve all experienced. Personally, I’ve always just made squishy sounds with my mouth to try and define this sound, so I’m glad to know there’s an actual verb I can use.
- a non-standard punctuation mark ‽ (a ? combined with an !) which may be used at the end of a sentence to express excitement or disbelief, or to indicate that it is a rhetorical question.
Example: Wait, you actually met Robert Downey Jr. ‽
Okay, so this isn’t actually a word you can use in a sentence … unless you’re using a sentence to explain what the ‽ actually is … but I love it anyway because who doesn’t want a punctuation mark that expresses both excitement and disbelief (or, just straight up confusion)?
- bad handwriting, poor spelling
Example: I tried to read her note, but she has such bad uglyography that I couldn’t make out a single word
This word is just so incredibly brilliant because we all know someone who has bad handwriting (where are my doctors at?) and now we can adequately describe their subpar penmanship with this great word.
- expressing opinions on matters outside the scope of one’s knowledge or expertise.
Example: When my son asked me where babies come from, I couldn’t help myself from inserting some ultracrepidarian nonsense.
Okay, so this word may not roll off the tongue as well as mansplaining, but the great thing about is that it’s gender neutral (because I think we all know some women who are guilty of this as well). What’s awesome is this can also be used as a noun, to describe someone who engages in the practice of expressing opinions about things they know nothing about.
- To increase the liveliness of a horse by inserting an irritant, such as a piece of peeled raw ginger or a live eel, in its anus.
Example: The stable manager resorted to some unorthodox tactics to boost some life into the elder horse, feaguing it with a live eel.
This may be one of the most absurd things I’ve ever heard and that’s why it’s on this list. Also, can any horse people tell me in the comments whether or not this is a real thing, because … wow, just, wow!
- an innocuously inept and futile person in public office
Example: She watched in awe as the throttlebottom of a congressman made outlandish remarks during his speech.
No matter what side of the aisle you sit on, we’ve all wondered how some of our elected officials actually convinced enough people to vote them. I’ve heard a lot of colorful language for these inept public servants but this has to be my favorite.
- suffering from excessive eating or drinking.
Example: He groaned as he slapped the blaring alarm clock, wishing his crapulent stomach would just kill him already.
If you’ve gone to a college party or had an American Thanksgiving dinner, you’ve felt crapulent. I can’t find any evidence that the saying “I feel like crap” derives from this word, but I also can’t find any evidence that it doesn’t. But it does derive from the Latin word crapula, which means to be intoxicated, so I’m going to make an executive decision and say that it does. If you can prove me wrong, share your sources in the comments.
- someone who loves nooks and crannies
Example: He knew his missing daughter was a chasmophile and told the police to look in small, unusual places.
This is another one of those words that made me scratch my head when I first learned it. I mean, are there really enough people in this world who have such an obtuse obsession with nooks and crannies that there needs to be a word for them? I guess there is since, well, there is a word for them.
- to rush around your house to clean it before guests arrive.
Example: As soon as she heard they were on their way over, she scrurryfunged as fast as she could.
I scurryfunge. You scurryfunge. We all scurryfunge. With the amount of scurryfunging that goes on, it’s a real shame this word isn’t used commonly. Let’s change that.
What did you think of this week’s list? How many of these did you know? Let us know in the commments!