They say that war never changes. That may be fundamentally true, but the reasons we have gone to war range in such a spectacular way from completely legitimate to what the [bleep]. In this article, we’re counting down ten of the most bizarre battles in human history.
The War of the Oaken Bucket
People have gone to war over a wide array of reasons: religion, rights, spices, and resources. But what about a bucket? According to legend, the war of the oaken bucket was instigated when soldiers from the Italian city of Modena infiltrated the territory of Bologna to steal a bucket from the city’s well.
In retaliation, the Bolognese invaded Modena with 30,000 foot soldiers and 2,000 cavaliers. despite their superior numbers, however, Modena’s mere 5,000 foot soldiers and 2,000 cavaliers were able to repel the invaders, and the bucket was hoisted to the top of the city’s main bell tower, where it remains today.
The Drunken War
In 1989, the territory of Moldova declared its independence from the Soviet Union. The new nation wanted to foster closer ties with its western neighbors, which was well received throughout the country except for the territory of Transnistria, which had a large ethnically-Russian population.
As a result, the small swath of land decided to declare its own independence. From 1990-1991, Moldavian troops clashed with Transnistrian rebels until a full-scale war broke out in 1992. But this conflict was unlike any other as the combatants would fight during the day then gather at night to drink together. Many soldiers befriended their enemies during these social gatherings, even going as far as making agreements not to shoot one another when fighting resumed the next day.
One soldier was even quoted as saying: “the war is like a grotesque party. during the day we kill our enemy, during the night we drink with them. what a bizarre thing war is.”
The Battle of Den Helder
Who would win in a fight between a fleet of naval warships and a bunch of guys on horses? If you answered “warships” you’d be right ninety-nine percent of the time. That other one percent was the Battle of Den Helder, a skirmish during the French Revolutionary Wars.
In January 1795, after gaining control of Amsterdam, the French sent a reconnaissance team to the village of Den Helder after hearing rumors the Dutch fleet was anchored there. General Jan Willem de Winter led the expedition. When he arrived, he found that the bay had frozen over and the fleet of fourteen warships and multiple merchant ships were stuck in the ice.
Under the cover of night, as the unsuspecting Dutch sailors slept, de Winter launched his surprise attack. By the end of the skirmish, the French captured all fourteen warships and 850 cannons without spilling a drop of blood on either side.
The Civil War Duel
A duel seems like an unnecessary redundancy during an active armed conflict, but there is one incredibly bizarre instance of this happening during the American Civil War. According to a memoir published by John H. Worsham, a Confederate and Union soldier found themselves face-to-face in a gully as their peers battled nearby. Rather than engaging in one-on-one combat right then and there, the two men agreed to “go into the road and have a regular fist and skull fight, the best man to have the other as his prisoner.”
So, both men walked to the road in the middle of the battlefield and threw fists. The duel created such a commotion, soldiers from both sides ceased fire and gathered around the two men to witness the fight. In the end, the Union soldier surrendered and was escorted away as a prisoner of war and the battle continued as if nothing happened.
The Christmas Truce
In December 1914, just six months into the First World War, hundreds of thousands of soldiers had already been killed or injured. With little to nothing to show for their efforts, the British and German soldiers living in the trenches had lost whatever sense of national purpose they had. To help raise morale, both countries sent care packages of food and tobacco to these soldiers. Although the additional rations were likely coveted, the Christmas spirit was what brought peace among men that Christmas eve.
The German troops began placing Christmas trees adorned with candles in front of their trenches and began singing Christmas carols. The British responded in turn by singing their own carols, which led to a spontaneous truce. Soldiers left the trenches and met in no-man’s-land to exchange gifts of cake, alcohol, postcards, newspapers, and even started a few pickup games of soccer.
Unfortunately, the peace couldn’t last, and the soldiers were ordered to return to the trenches. In many locations, however, soldiers on both sides of the trenches spent several days wasting ammunition by firing their weapons into the sky, rather than at each other.
The Blind King
They say there’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity. A great case study in this could be found in the story of King John of Bohemia and the battle of Crécy. Although John was known for his combat prowess, he’d become blind thanks to a genetic disease.
Despite this, John and his son Charles answered the call of French King Phillip the Sixth to take up arms against the English in 1346 AD. During the battle, John insisted on joining the fight. So, he tied his horse to those of his knights and charged into battle. Unfortunately for the blind king, his body was found among the dead the next day with an ironic stab wound to the eye.
The Longest, Most Uneventful War Ever
In 1651, a small skirmish between Parliamentarians and Royalists broke out as part of the United Kingdom’s Civil War. It all started when the Dutch decided to align with the Parliamentarians, which upset the longtime Dutch allies in the Royalist party. This led to Royalist raids on Dutch shipping lanes in the English Channel. However, when the Royalist navy lost its authority in 1651, it was forced to retreat to the Isles of Scilly. There, the Dutch sent twelve warships to demand compensation for their losses during the raids.
The royalists refused and the Dutch declared war on the Isles of Scilly in march of that year. three months later, the royalists admitted defeat and surrendered the isle to the parliamentarians. the dutch were satisfied with this resolution and left the isles. Unfortunately, they never officially declared peace until 1985 when a Scilly historian reached out to the Dutch embassy to ask for a peace treaty, ending the war after a very uneventful 335 years.
Lake Tanganyika
World War I is known for its trench warfare and use of chemical weapons. There was one conflict, however, that was rather odd, and it happened on a freshwater lake in central Africa. Lake Tanganyika is the longest freshwater lake on the planet and a strategic location that was controlled by the German navy.
The British wanted to take control; however, they didn’t have any ships on the lake, and it was too warm to go full Den Helder on the German ships. So, they did what any outside-the-box thinkers would do and transported two boats through the African interior by steam tractors, oxen, and log rolling.
To the credit of the British, their hard work paid off. The small attack ships were faster and more maneuverable than the German warships. In the end, the British captured one warship and sank the other.
The Breton War Super Bowl
We don’t often think of war as a spectator sport. However, one battle during the Breton War of Succession proved otherwise. On March 26, 1351, two groups of knights representing the kings of England and France met at a pre-arranged battlefield in Brittany. What unfolded turned into the medieval version of a royal rumble.
The knights were to fight until only one side remained. Despite only having sixty combatants, the battle lasted so long that crowds gathered to watch the contest and were even served refreshments so they could enjoy the spectacle in comfort.
Although the outcome of the battle had absolutely no effect on the outcome of the war, historians consider this battle to be one of the finest recorded examples of chivalry.
The Battle of Castle Itter
It’s common knowledge that the United States and Germany were not friends during the Second World War. But what if I told you there was one battle where soldiers from both countries put their differences aside and fought for a common goal?
In what has been dubbed the strangest skirmish of World War II, the battle of Castle Itter saw troops of the United States’ 23rd Tank Battalion team up with a number of German soldiers to defend the castle against attacking SS troops. The castle had been used as a prison by the Germans for high-profile French prisoners. In the waning days of the war, the order was given to exterminate the prisoners.
Seeing the writing on the wall, German Maj. Josef Gangl sought the Americans to help defend the castle and the prisoners, some of which chose to take up arms and fight alongside the soldiers. On May 5th, 1945, the SS launched their attack. With limited ammunition and only one tank, the unlikely team was able to defend the castle long enough for reinforcements from the 142nd Infantry Regiment to arrive. Two days later, Germany surrendered, effectively ending World War II in Europe.
46 Series Entertainment 